B.Reyna

It seams the only time I want to blog is when I am feeling lost and in despair.Its healing I guess you could say.

Have you ever lost someone so fast and so unexpected that it felt like it kicked you right in the gut.That's what I felt like when we lost Buddy.All though Buddy was a co-worker.He was much more to me and all of us here at work.He was the kind of man I grew up with.The tough Mexican guy ain't know one or anything going to hold me down guy.But deep down he was crazy passionate about his daughter and wife.The joy they would bring him was fascinating.Buddy was Buddy and you had to give him credit for not being fake ,he was outspoken in what he believed and felt. There was no changing his mind at no matter how nice you tried to explain things to him.He stood his ground.He was a great human being.He was who he was and if you didn't like it tough cookies.But I tell you this if you knew him you would have loved him. And if you wanted his advice beware because you were going to get it whether you liked him or not.

He was killed for on April 10,2010.I don't want to talk about how he was killed.All I can say it was senseless.

I will never forget the call.Steve's voice so calm and collected when he told me that Layla's daddy had been killed.WHAT !!!! Is what I wanted to scream. And then I had this crazy warm feeling,a tightness in my chest, the pain that my heart felt,they sweat that in my palms was unreal. Then I remember looking at my kids and my husband. I felt so lost yet they were right in front of me.But I was alone in my pain.But when I came to work on Monday.The first person I saw that felt my pain was Brian and he gave me the hug that I so much needed. Then everyone else was here all the people that you would least expect to have a bond with.They were like family. Like brothers. At work we are so honest with each other more then we are at home.Well at least I am. I let it all out work. Its easier sometimes a lot easier then when I am at home telling my husband who has his load to carry.

All I know life is complicated and I believe people are put in our paths to learn from.And Buddy taught me plenty on life,metal music,seeing things through a guys point of view (very useful).All the boys and girls here at work have taught me something.I have seen through their eyes Italy, Seattle, the struggle of graduating from UT, their children being born, their dreams, different faiths and cultures, music, and the number one thing that I have learned to be grateful for everyday we have because it may be your last.

I love and miss you Buddy!!