La Migra

Okay okay I know this blog is probably not a good idea to write but shit I am sooooooo tired of this whole immigration shit.
Come on now why are my people good enough to build your homes ,cook your food ,take care of your children,wash your freaken cars but yet we are not granted citizenship.Why are we looked down upon.
I don't think anyone in there right mind wouldn't flee a poverty stricken country .For the better of there family there children and one day there children's children .Have some human compassion.If god forbid I had not been blessed to be born in the u.s and had been born in Mexico you better believe I would have saved every red cent I earned and used it to get my brown ass out of Mexico.
In the end we all just want the very best for our family and these people should be given a chance .Everyone should be given a chance .Freedom and wanting better in life should not stop at borders .Why is our border so prejudice ? let them be give them tools to try to better themselves .Educate them .We have tons of Americans that sit at home and wait for that welfare check to come in and they don't move there ass to get jobs .Why not help the people that had to leave there loved ones behind .That will get up every morning and take that bottom of the barrel job .You know cleaning that expensive hotel room you just had a great night stay in for about a week and you didn't even bother to ask the housekeeper what her name was . Shes probably making a lousy 7-8 bucks that an American citizen wouldn't take .She'll clean probably about 18-21 rooms today at 23 minutes each and clean that lovely toilet on her hand and knees .But yet she's not good enough be left alone.If getting your freaken Visa were an easier process for them maybe they would go get it.
Just and try to put yourself in there position .What would you do ?

being me

lets see this can get really complicated .
First off I am a mom .Which I had no idea 17 year ago what that all entailed .Being a mom you are your children's true advocate you will fight a good fight for your children ,even when they are wrong I will come to there defense (why I have no idea) I am a protector off all bad things from naughty movie videos ,to middle school boys trying to holler at my daughters ,to the school bullies ,to any bad at all.I am a 24 hour nurse thanks to webmd , I am a counselor , I am the listener to any woos my babies may have ,oh yes I can also be the enemy (when I say no to there fullish wants ). I am the wife ,cook,cleaner ,toenail clipper,hairstylist,referee,the alfit inspector ( making sure no one wears anything scandalous to school) , the one that cries her self to sleep scared that her children will not make good choices ,scared that one day they will not be there,scared that if I tell them no they will hate me ,scared that they don't understand my fears ,because if they understood they wouldn't fight me on my decision.I have done many stupid awful things that I regret with all my being .I have said many things that I wish had never been spoken .I have hated .Which I believe aged me about 10 years and gave me no comfort so I brandy will never hate again instead I will dislike a whole bunch j/k.I have learned many valuable lessons in life .The greatest of which is family . And that I love them all with all my heart !!!

Changes

Changes .
Some changes you can take lightly,some you can take so very hard.I have realized that being a mommy to five little ones you will encounter dozens of changes in your everyday life.Like the day they don't need you to tie there so shoes,or pick out there school clothes.
What hurts especially bad is when your brand spank in new 17 year old can make decisions that will change alot of his life. And me being the mommy can do nothing but wish him the best and support whatever it is he has chosen . That hurts ... Right now at this moment I wish I could see into his future and make sure this is the right decision for him. But I feel in my heart that I need to back off and let him decide on what's best .I look into his beautiful brown eyes and see such determination ,strength,pride and most of all I see my son ,my son that has been thru so much a boy that has proven alot of people wrong ,proven that you can change if someone just give you a chance, someone just hear him out all his pain and all his fears and dreams . I feel so torn between not wanting to let go and being an understanding parent a mom.
Change and can be good or bad .Like when a child wants all the freedom that a grown man should have. And you say no and that kid fights you everyday to have his way.You have to make a change to stop being that push over walk all over mom and stand your ground.And you know what its okay to be disliked or even hated by your child.It hurts so bad to have kid that will not listen .I don't ask for much ,I ask for what all parents should ask for do well in school,be respectful ,do not do drugs .What do you do when you and your family have been down this road before .Do you give no more chances and make that call that can ultimately put your son away .I have been thru this before why is he testing me ?Does he think I will not do it? Will he truly hate me ?Should I care ? I am just so tired I feel like screaming .I literally feel weak from this all .I have no more fight left in me .I have always been so strong but no more I throw the towel in . I can not keep yelling and begging .There came a time once before and it hurt so bad to make the decision to get help and it's sad to say the time has came once again.And I feel like I have failed all over again.Yes,I let him go to his friends .yes,I let him have good time.But when I let him do these things its because I TRUST HIM and believe he is were he tells me he will be and I believe him when he tell me he is being good.I am once again the fool ......But why should i be a bitch and say no you can go no were and see no one .You have to let your kid out to have fun a be a freaken kid..But I guess I will have to see were this road will take me the road called fed up and I need to take a left at give me a break ......